we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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