Pappa wants mamma naked
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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