we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
