"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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