my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
