Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
