omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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