If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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