btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
