but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
