So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
