hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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