The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
