The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
