i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
either way he was missing a nipple.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
