I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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