girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
