I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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