Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can text with my tongue
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is classic penis vs brain.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
