I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
