I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
