I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
