Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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