We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
