Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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