I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
