and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
