How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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