Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
