In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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