All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
