Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
