JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
