Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
