so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
