Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
