the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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