Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
