Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
