Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
