ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
