let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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