it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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