I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
