I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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