the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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