I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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