I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
