After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize