Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
